This is an opportunity to help break me from the chains that have held me back from speaking out in school. This is what The Lord has been building me up for all this time – an opportunity to overcome a perpetual fear while doing what I love most. ![]() Several of the other students going on the trip with me have never been on an international service trip, and I cannot wait to see how the experience opens their hearts. I know most of the students going, but I only talk to a few of them occasionally. ![]() There are only about 15 total people going, including adults. While it is not directly a mission trip and we will not be indulging in or preaching the Word every day in Guatemala, I see this as an opportunity to take initiative. SO, when I found out that my school was sending a team to Guatemala for a service trip this summer, I saw my opportunity. I want others to know His love for them and how unconditional that love is. I want to spread The Word and allow others to have the same freedom I am blessed with every day to worship and love The Lord as often and as openly as I want. I feel led to venture into different lands to really learn about different cultures. Recently, my mind has been glued on one thing – travel. While I am only 18 years old and I obviously do not have to have everything figured out for my life (and I definitely do not), I have been doing a lot of soul searching to at least get an idea for what I may want to do later on. Over the last few months I had really been struggling to figure out this calling The Lord has for me. I really wanted to challenge myself this year to do something unconventional, something I would never have thought of doing in years past. When senior year approached, I told myself that this was my last chance before college to try and overcome this never-ending battle that I have been fighting throughout grade school. High school was the transitioning point, and I’ve challenged myself each year to try to speak out more. Though not much has changed and I still feel nervous when attention is given to me, I have gotten better about it. ![]() I understand that everyone gets nervous once in a while, but this was happening on a daily basis. It used to be so bad that I would call my parents to pick me up, just to get out of a presentation/whatever social activity I would have to deal with that day. Anytime attention is drawn to me, I get this nervous and dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s not that I don’t want to participate, it’s just difficult for me to put myself out there. Ever since elementary school, I have been the quiet one in the class- rarely raising my hand to answer a question, sinking in my seat and avoiding eye contact when there’s a class discussion, and keeping to myself throughout the school day. ![]() Before I get to that, a little bit of background: As the above lyrics from their song “You Make Me Brave” played from my phone a few days ago, I randomly realized that while I have been so fixated on trying to set up this blog for my upcoming travel endeavors, I failed to mention one of the most important steps I’ve taken in the direction of The Lord’s calling for me. Lately, I have been obsessed with listening to Bethel Music. “You make me brave / you call me out beyond the shore into the waves…”
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